Although ministry is unlike any other vocation in that our call to work comes from the seat of Holy consecrated omnipotence instead of a seat in a high corner office, at the same time it IS like any other vocation in that one must put in the appropriate dedication and effort to get the call. As I embark on exactly 10 years of ministry later this month, the call from that ultimate sacred seat is what I’ve been diligently working toward and waiting for specifically as it pertains to the ministry of pastorate.
That opportunity finally
presented itself last May. I’d applied to a wonderful church with wonderful
people whom invited me to preach various times, present a Bible study, and go
through an interview with the pastoral search committee. In the midst of the
process, heartbreak and misfortune struck my personal life with the sudden
severe illness of my pregnant wife battling a rare brain disorder. Early on in
the process before being hospitalized, she was with me the first few times I
preached and was excited for me having the chance to pastor this church.
Knowing of the situation as their search narrowed, the church gave me amazing support and
grace. I continued in the process although my heart and mind remained
solely in an ICU room at Emory University Hospital.
It eventually came down between me
and one other candidate. I was asked to come one last time for a final
interview with the entire congregation. When the floor opened the first
question asked was one that felt like it took an eternity to think about, but
the answer came soundly off my lips with transparency and confidence. “How would
everything going on with your wife affect your decision if we offered you the
position?”
I knew how I answered this question could play a major factor in which
direction they went in their choice. There was no doubt that my wife’s health
condition was one that would take a lengthy recovery process which in turn
would have much say so in my decision if they offered me the position. So many
thoughts and inquiries rushed through my head:
“I really like this church. It feels like it’s a good fit. Her state of
condition would definitely affect me accepting or not accepting if offered. But
wait…this is the closest I’ve been to the moment I’ve meticulously toiled so
hard for in ministry the past 10 years. I’ve sacrificed so much for this
moment. I’ve been faithful and dedicated to my call for this moment. I’ve taken
the task of ministry and the life behind ministry serious for this moment. I
spent 3 years of demanding study in seminary to obtain my Master of Divinity
degree for this moment. Maybe I can bend the truth a little bit and say our
situation wouldn’t affect my decision? Maybe I can work my way around the
question without really answering it?”
After what felt like a protracted thought process, I gave the only answer
I knew was right and true to give. “I honestly don’t know.” Four simple words. It
was pretty much left at that and the interview continued on for the next hour.
A week later I was informed they chose the other candidate. I must admit I was
disappointed as anyone would be looking forward to a chance at a great
opportunity. However I’m grateful for being thought of so much to even be in
consideration. I certainly don’t take it for granted. To reiterate once again, this
is a great church with great people whom I know will do incredible ministry
with their new pastor.
It bothered me for the next few
days thinking that my answer of honesty may have been the determining factor in
the decision, but I would answer the same way if asked a hundred times again.
This experience being by the side of my sick wife nearly 5 months has taught me
a great deal about myself as a person, a young husband, and a young minister.
It has challenged me to take a deep look into what ministry is truly supposed
to be. I deliberated with God over and over about the timing of all this. Just
when I was at the cusp of reaching that which I’d worked so solid for and been
so loyal toward, ill-fated calamity penetrated my life as an unpredicted meteor
does the earth. When the stress of seminary, rigor of righteous living, price of
patience, and determination despite denials was all about to be worth it, what
looked so close in proximity floated back into the distance.
In our deliberation God rebutted
my case with quite the counter argument. God said to me all was not lost. He
told me to take that challenging deep look. The calling and aspiration God gave
me to become a pastor had already come to fruition. He had given me my
pastorate right before my eyes, just in a different way than I’d imagined it to
be. This time of my life was not meant for me to be the pastor of 200 people,
but rather the pastor of 2 people. My wife and newborn son who are both
recovering from intense health obstacles.
Right now these are the 2 who needs my shepherd covering, not the 200.
These are the 2 who needs me to commune with at their table, not the 200. These
are the 2 who needs my pastoral counseling, altar call prayers, and words of
comfort, not the 200. Right now these are the 2 who needs my gift of preaching,
strength of leadership, priestly presence, Divine-guided decisions, and vision
plan for the future, not the 200. These are the 2 who needs to look up at me
and see/feel an overwhelming sense of optimism when they are melting in
hopelessness from life’s situations, not the 200.
Finally after 10 years of devoted ministry, God has called me to a
pastorate. It is definitely a very peculiar and unforeseen pastorate. But
despite that, it is one I will go beyond measure for. One I will defeat
anything that tries to destroy it for. One I will give my life for. I will
serve in this pastorate knowing that the 200 will eventually come. Jesus told
us that if we be faithful over the few things, He will set us over much.
I want to encourage my fellow young
ministers who are awaiting a call to the pastorate to take that challenging deep
look into not only what ministry is supposed to be, but most importantly where
ministry is supposed to be. You may be surprised and find that God has already
given you your pastorate. It may not be the type you envisioned yourself
having, but the need for your service is essential to the few or many awaiting
your acceptance. Will you take it?
