On this day last year my world took a giant leap in the life
cycle of maturation. After a decade of working with kids through youth ministry
and summer camps, I was now about to have my own. I was about to transition
from part-time jobs pouring much energy into developing the spiritual growth
and personal character of countless number of kids I deeply loved and cared for,
into a full-time job to develop, love, and care for my own child. You. I hit a
milestone I’d always anticipated eventually coming one day in my adult years
when the time was right. However although the time was right, the circumstances
that existed within that time was far from right. Circumstances I nor anybody else
foresaw coming, neither did we have any control over.
The moment your mom and I found out we were pregnant, I was
eager to enjoy and encounter all of the highlights that comes along with the
pregnancy journey. I looked forward to driving your mom to routine doctor
appointments, doing a gender reveal, taking family maternity pictures, shopping
for baby items, being forced to sit in on baby showers thrown for your mom by
her friends, reading parenting books to prepare myself for you, making midnight
runs to Walmart to get Ice cream for a hungry irritated wife eating for two,
deciding on a decorative layout for your room, sitting down with your mom doing
the best we could to plan out the next 18 years, and as the time got closer
enjoying the last weeks of a household of 2 before it became a household of 3.
Ultimately the most exciting part of the journey I looked forward to was the finale.
From the instance upon learning of our pregnancy, I envisioned and couldn’t
wait for being in the delivery room with your mom holding her hand and
encouraging her through some silly version of Salt-N-Pepa’s “Push It.” I
envisioned sharing the special moment of meeting you, our first child, after
all the intense labor was over.
Unfortunately I did not get to experience any of these phases
of the pregnancy journey which can easily be taken for granted. Just 2 months
into our pregnancy, they had all been stripped from us before we would ever
have the chance to revel in any them. What was supposed to be a next 7 months
of elation and expectancy, took a drastic turn into a next 4 months of pure
craziness and chaos.
Instead of making decisions about cribs, clothes, and a car
seat, I ended up having to make decisions about continuance, chemo, and a
C-section. Instead of having a celebratory special moment of holding you as a
full-term healthy baby after delivery, it was a confusing scary moment of
seeing doctors pull you out and immediately place your 2lb 4oz body into an
incubator. Being born early at 28 weeks, you’d already endured so much way before
your eyes made acquaintance with this place we call earth.
Looking back a year later after initially not knowing how
healthy you would be at birth and you undergoing a 101 day NICU stay, there is no
doubt that you are truly a miracle my son. In the most unusual of situations
before birth, during birth, and this past year after birth, you’ve overcome
odds that some would deem as unconquerable. Every day I look at you I know that
I’m looking at the work of God. I’m able to upkeep a stable impenetrable
spirituality because I’m reminded of God’s divine ability to do the most unexplainable
extraordinary things in the lives of people because I’ve benefited from it firsthand
through you.
Even before my fatherhood officially began, it was hit with
difficult challenges that will never be forgotten. However, it’s because I was
able to make it through those challenges that the things that have come my way this
year in taking care of you and your mom are more durable to grind through. This
peculiar introduction to fatherhood has taught me valuable lessons in all the
various aspects of my life. With you I’ve been given a great responsibility that
I desire to meet the expectations of. I desire to meet them not because I have
to, but because I want to. Once a man enters into fatherhood, their
responsibility of their child shouldn’t be a choice but rather a craving. It’s
not that I have to take care of you, but it’s that I want
to take care of you. It’s not that I have to go beyond the call of
duty in hopes to be a great father, but it’s that I want to go beyond
the call of duty in hopes to be a great father.
I’m thankful for my miracle that is you Miles Wesley
Thompson. Even though I had to miss out on the highlights of the pregnancy
journey, I’m grateful for the opportunity of having already experienced so many
highlights of the fatherhood journey so far in this first year. Miles when you
grow old enough to read and understand this, I want you to know that you are
truly something special. After everything we’ve gone through as a family, God
has an incredible calling upon your life that I can’t wait to see and be a part
of. In the meantime, I look forward to making more highlights with you in year
2.
Always remember this because in your short time being here you
have already lived it. Roman 8:37, “In
all these things we are more than conquerors through Christ who loved us.”
Just as Christ will always be there for you and love you, so will I.
Love,
Daddy
